


Let's Waste No Time

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: AU, M/M, can be TOS or AOS, my funny brain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-21
Updated: 2013-06-21
Packaged: 2017-12-15 15:38:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/851202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Okay, so what if Jim sometimes crashes in Bones’ quarters if he’s too tired to make it to his own? And sure, sometimes they’re share a tray in canteen, but half the time it’s the only way he can get Jim to eat something that isn’t a Snackpack on the run to the bridge.</p><p>
  <b>A story in which Bones doesn't know he's in a relationship with the Captain. </b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let's Waste No Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashers_kiss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashers_kiss/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文 available: [抓紧时间](https://archiveofourown.org/works/876048) by [Christywalks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christywalks/pseuds/Christywalks)



> I don't normally ship Bones/Kirk, but for some reason today I decided I did. Not entirely sure where it came from, but there you go. 
> 
> Also, I wrote this with just the general characters in mind, so you can probably have it as TOS or AOS, whatever you like :)
> 
> Title taken from **Young Lovers** by Alkaline Trio.

They’re not a couple, not really. Best friends, definitely, but a couple? No. At least, that’s what Bones says whenever someone asks him - and he’s asked _a lot_.

It’s annoying, really. Sure, Jim’s the closest thing to family that Bones has had since the divorce, and he probably knows Bones better than that woman ever did, but they’re not a _couple_. They don’t act like one, like they’re together...do they?

Okay, so what if Jim sometimes crashes in Bones’ quarters if he’s too tired to make it to his own? And sure, sometimes they’re share a tray in canteen, but half the time it’s the only way he can get Jim to eat something that isn’t a Snackpack on the run to the bridge. And okay, maybe Jim can get a little handsy when he’s had a little too much to drink, but that’s normal. Yes, there may have been that one little incident at Christmas with the mistletoe, but Jim was drunk and game, and Bones _really_ wanted to wipe the smirk off Spock’s face, because the stupid Hobgoblin knows how much Bones hates being shown up in public. (And it totally worked - Spock’s face was priceless for a nanosecond before he composed himself)

So, Leonard McCoy and James Kirk are not dating, okay?

“But you _are_ ,” Carol tells him one morning over coffee. Bones just grumbles and shakes his head.

“I’m his friend, god dammit, not his lover!”

Carol rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her latte. “You just need to accept the fact that you’re Jim’s boyfriend, good and simple.”

Before Bones even has a chance to argue, Carol gets to her feet. She ruffles his hair as she passes him. Bones just jerks his head away and mutters to himself as he finishes his morning coffee.

*

“Doctor, is something wrong?”

Bones looks up from the Tribble he’s currently dissecting (the third one this week - it helps him relax, for some odd reason) and lifts an eyebrow at Spock.

“Excuse me?”

Spock frowns, as if he’s trying to think of how to dumb the question down for a human mind to process.

“You have been extremely quiet during the dissection.”

Bones frowns, his brow furrowing deeply, and straightens up, cracking his spine as he does so.

It takes a few seconds, but eventually he blurts out, “Do you think Jim and I are an item, Commander?”

Spock barely bats an eyelid before he cocks his head to side and says, “Aren’t you?”

Bones groans, exasperated. “No, we’re not!” He falls back onto a swivel chair behind him and tugs his latex gloves off so he can rub his face dramatically. “He’s my best friend.”

Spock is silent for a few seconds, before he says, “Isn’t that what being in a relationship is?”

Bones looks up at him.

“Whilst I do not fully grasp the entire concept of love and human relationships, I do understand the bond between two beings. What you and the Captain share is most profound, even if you do not realise it.”

Bones just stares at Spock, eyes wide. Is he really trying to tell Bones about relationships? Is he actually getting advice from a _Vulcan_?

Spock smirks a little, as though he knows what Bones is thinking. “I am no expert on the matter, but I am half human, doctor. I may choose to suppress most human emotions, but I do know what it is like to care for someone.”

“We are not a couple,” Bones grumbles, throwing and arm over his face and spinning on the chair gently.

“If don’t mind my saying, doctor, the relationship you share with the captain is more like a romantic relationship than a platonic one.”

“How so?” Bones asks, still hiding behind his arm.

“You share a bed on most nights,” Spock begins, and Bones interrupts him with, “ _Platonically_.”

“You also eat together most evenings--”

“As friends!”

“And there is the matter of you both rejecting the female attention you receive.”

This is what stops Bones moving, and he takes his arm away to blink at Spock curiously. “What?” What female attention? He doesn’t get any attention, he’s always too busy!

Again, Spock smirks and it makes Bones’s blood boil a little. Smug bastard.

“Doctor Marcus expressed an interest in you many times and you rebuffed her each time.”

“What? No, she wasn’t--”

“And the Captain rarely responds to any attempts made by any members of the crew to attract his attention, female or male.”

Bones frowns again. What? That’s not like Jim at all. The man is a man whore! He could have any person on board this ship (in fact, he’s probably had about half of them already). It isn’t like him to not be dating at least three people at once. However, now that Spock mentions it, Bones can’t remember the last time he walked in on Jim in a compromising situation, or the last time he saw Jim winking as he passed by some cuties in the hallways.

No. This wasn’t. No.

“Shit,” Bones says, and he could swear that a chuckle escaped Spock’s lips.

*

Bones is sitting in the canteen, prodding at what he thinks is meatloaf, when Jim falls down next to him.

“Boy, am I glad to see you,” Jim groans and he drops his head onto Bones’s shoulder.

Bones doesn’t say anything, just raises an eyebrow and looks down at him.

“I swear, that Vulcan asshole does his best to make things as difficult as possible for me.”

Bones gives a light chuckle and continues to pick at his food.

“What’s up with you?” Jim asks, and he sits up straight, looking at the doctor.

“Nothing,” Bones says, but he keeps his eyes on his 'food’.

“Come on,” Jim says, and he squeezes Bones’s knee. “What’s wrong?”

Bones frowns, chewing on the inside of his lip, before he finally says, “Are we a couple?” and he looks up.

Jim doesn’t seem to react at first, just blinking back at Bones blankly. Eventually says, “Come again?”

Bones sighs and drops his fork. “Forget it.”

“No,” Jim says, and he rounds in on Bones. “Are we a couple? Where did that come from?”

Bones shakes his head. “Forget it. It’s been a long day, I was just--”

“Did you speak to Spock?” Jim asks with a sly tone, and Bones looks at him. “You did! I was wondering what the hell the was talking about, god damn bonding and shit. I was convinced he was about to give me The Talk.” Jim shudders, but Bones doesn’t say anything. He’s too busy contemplating the best way to kill a Vulcan.

“Hey,” Jim says, and he puts a hand on Bones’s shoulder. “Why, is it bothering you?”

“Huh?” Bones says, and he’s so confused now.

“Does it bother you? That we’re a couple.”

Okay, now Bones has no idea what the hell is going on. “What?” He asks, his voice strained. He knows that Jim is a headcase, and he knows that this man raises his stress levels on a daily basis, but this is just getting beyond the doctor.

“Well, we are,” Jim shrugs, and he picks up Bones’ discarded fork and takes a bite of the meatloaf. “Maybe not in the conventional sense, but we are, really.”

“Oh yeah?” Bones asks, and he raises an eyebrow.

“Mhmm. I mean, you feed me, you make sure my clothes are clean, you try to make sure I’m healthy--”

“Okay, so I’m your mother now?”

“No,” Jim says, and he shrugs. “More like a partner, you know?”

Bones just shakes his head. This is so like Jim. To have all this thought out in his head, all settled and content without even mentioning it to Bones. “so how long have I been your partner, then?”

Jim screws up his face a little. “About a year? No, nine months, I think.” He stops, then says, “Yeah, after I broke up with Nina. About nine months.”

Bones doesn’t even say anything, just puts his head in his hands. Of course he would be in a relationship for nine months without realising it. It’s completely typical of the kind of shit Jim would pull on him. He’s not surprised, when he thinks about it.

“You’re an excellent boyfriend, by the way,” Jim says, and he gets to his feet, stealing one last mouthful of Bones’ dinner.

“Oh yeah?” Bones asks, looking up. He’s too tired of argue (not that there’s any point -- whether or not this _is_ a strange situation and weird way to find out you’re dating your best friend, he _is_ a great boyfriend/husband/partner, whatever, and he knows that).

Jim grins and nods. “You totally let me be the little spoon.”

Bones rolls his eyes, but before he says anything, Jim is swooping down and pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead before he runs off in the direction of the Turbolift.

Bones just stares after him, and he almost doesn’t notice when Mr. Scott sits down in front of him.

“You awright, doctor?” Scotty asks, and Bones shakes his head, coming out of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I just...did you know I was dating Jim?”

Scotty laughs. “Of course ah did! Didn’t you?”


End file.
